How to build self-esteem

Self-esteem can ebb and flow. For some people, it comes naturally. For others, it takes time to build up self-esteem and feel comfortable valuing themselves and their own abilities.

As a student, it becomes very easy for your self-esteem to be dragged down by a variety of things. Between managing your social life, staying on top of your studies and keeping your mental health in check, all of these things can impact your self-esteem.

You aren’t alone in this. Everyone experiences low self-esteem at one point or another. What matters is having the ability to build it back up and return to being your best self. Here are a few ways you can build your self-esteem up and use it to empower yourself and use it to see success in all aspects of your life as a student.

What does self-esteem actually mean?

Self-esteem can be defined as a person’s sense of self, worth and how they perceive their own capabilities. Having high self-esteem allows a person to be more confident and comfortable in handling life’s challenges as they have more confidence and self-belief in their own abilities. The reverse of this is low self-esteem, which can lead to a lack of self-respect and self-worth. Low self-esteem results in negative feelings towards yourself, not believing you can overcome challenges and potentially avoiding social situations.

What impacts self-esteem?

Almost anything can impact a person’s self-esteem. It could differ from situation to situation or simply one event could cause major fluctuations.

Historic factors

Early messaging as a child, whether it be from parents, teachers, films, television, friends and a host of other things can have a huge impact on a person’s self-esteem. Receiving messages that bother you or make you feel that you are not good enough and can’t live up to expectations can be extremely difficult to overcome.

Personal events

Significant life events can be hugely influential on a person’s self-esteem. An example of this might be if a person has high self-esteem and believes in their own ability in a particular activity, such as a sport, but then fail to succeed (i.e. make a team). This may lead them to begin to doubt their own worth and ability.

Social impact

Beliefs and viewpoints can be heavily influenced by social scenarios and the surrounding world. If a person is surrounded by people with differing beliefs and values, they may begin to question their own values and confidence. Friends and peers who may judge beliefs can make an individual question their beliefs as they value the opinion of those around them. It could be due to societal influence where the world around them seemingly does not value the same things as themselves, even actively opposing and judging them.

How student life can impact self-esteem

Amongst all the benefits and great things about student life, it also comes with a host of challenges. Plenty is made of and celebrated about the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends, but for those that may be struggling to adjust or meet like-minded people, their self-esteem can quickly deteriorate. The same can be said for their new surrounding environment. They may be leaving somewhere where they felt comfortable, supported and valued and now have to acclimatise to a new environment where they feel these things are not guaranteed.

That however is only referring to the social challenges students face that might impact their self-worth. There is also the issue of academic performance and adjusting to a new level of criticism and feedback. Due to the step-up in academic level, whether it be college or university, they may feel more is expected of them. If they encounter struggles in academia where they previously thrived, they can begin to doubt their ability to succeed. This then leads to a fear of failure and even lead to avoidance of responsibilities and social situations. They may worry about harsher criticism from tutors as they are self-conscious of the step up in academic level.

Juggling all aspects of student life can quickly lead to a decline in self-esteem. Whilst a person might feel confident, comfortable and valued in once aspect, they may struggle in another, which then has a knock-on effect of leading to lower self-esteem in the aspect they felt comfortable handling.

Improving self-esteem

Having low self-esteem is entirely understandable and natural and can impact anyone. The issue occurs when a person consistently has low self-esteem. It can limit a person’s ambitions and potential as they become more unwilling to engage in certain activities. This is why it is vital to consistently work on self-esteem and focus on self-improvement to overcome the challenges of daily life, especially to thrive as a student. Here are some tips on working to improve self-esteem:

1. Set miniature and achievable goals

One of the pillars of low self-esteem is the self-doubt that a person can’t achieve their goal. Often, the reason for this belief comes from setting goals that may be unrealistic. For example, as a student, you may want to achieve a certain grade, but your current grade and understanding of a subject is significantly below that target and there’s no study plan in place. Looking at the grander, end goal can make a person believe the goal is unachievable. One way to achieve this overarching goal and build-up self-esteem is setting smaller sub-goals to build up to the point where the end goal is in sight.

2. Accept compliments

When struggling with a lack of confidence, it can be easy to fall into the mindset of disagreeing with compliments given to you. This could simply be because you don’t believe them yourself due to low self-worth. The compliments may seem small and inconsequential but learning to accept them and begin to recognise your strengths can quickly establish a base of self-esteem you can continue to build from.

3. Challenge negative thoughts

If you are struggling with your self-esteem, take a second to accept your self-talk. You may quickly begin to appreciate that you are subconsciously reaffirming negative beliefs. Through using tools such as (C)CBT (accessible on SilverCloud through the Student Assistance Programme), you can begin to learn how to effectively challenge and reframe these negative thoughts. Doing this can allow you to recognise any hyperbolic false thoughts you may have about yourself, and recognise issues that you can find a solution to.

4. Practice self-care

Overall wellbeing has a huge role to play in a person’s self-esteem. Whether you are struggling with physical or mental wellbeing, it all exists in the same ecosystem. If you struggle with sleep, it can lead to declining mental health, leading a person to stop practicing hobbies for enjoyment or engaging in physical wellbeing activities. Setting aside a dedicated amount of time each day to practice self-care can help maintain a healthy level of wellbeing and ultimately boost levels of self-esteem.

5. Surround yourself with positivity

When a person is surrounded by negativity, their mindset will begin to reflect this. It may be their social circle, it may be their interests, or the media they consume. If it is predominantly negative, it will begin to seep into their own thoughts and influence their beliefs and self-image. With phenomena such as doomscrolling, it can be difficult to escape constant negativity, especially when peers are engaging in the same sort of activity, cultivating a self-sustaining environment of negativity. Being conscious of this allows a person to then remove the negativity and begin to focus on more positive influences to improve their self-worth, confidence and mindset.

How a Student Assistance Programme can help with self-esteem

If you are struggling with low self-esteem and juggling the pressures of student life and need additional support, you can access expert support using HA | Wisdom Wellbeing’s Student Assistance Programme (SAP). With access to a 24/7 counselling helpline, 365-days a year, you can access solution-based therapy to help you overcome challenges you may be facing. As well as this, you also have exclusive access to the Wisdom app. Loaded with wellbeing resources such as articles and podcasts you can better understand challenges of low self-esteem and confidence. As well as this, you can access healthy recipes, exercise routine and breathing techniques to work on your overall wellbeing and track your progress with the built in daily mood tracker.

Conclusion

Self-esteem will always ebb and flow, and as a student learning more about the world and yourself, it can often decline very quickly as self-doubt creeps in. This can be even more difficult when handling all additional pressures of academia, adjusting to a new environment and meeting new people. But, to thrive as a student, you need to maintain a healthy level of self-esteem and understand how to manage it when it begins to decline in order to continue developing and reach your full potential.

Contact Wisdom Wellbeing on 1800 868 659 to speak with our wellbeing consultant.