Self-Care Tips for Parents and Guardians

You cannot simply clock in and clock out of the role of a parent or guardian. It is a full-time responsibility that requires you to be engaged and prepared to support a child whenever they need it. For this very reason, parents and guardians must ensure they are taking care of themselves too. If they are not practising proper self-care, it can have a hugely negative impact on not just their own wellbeing, but also that of the child, as they are unable to fulfil their responsibilities to the highest capacity.

Why self-care is essential for parents and guardians

Everyone requires some type of self-care. As a species, humans need to take time to prioritise their own wellbeing physically, mentally and emotionally. Without it, they will be unable to carry out their responsibilities and will experience a poorer quality of life. This is no different for parents and guardians. If they are struggling with their wellbeing, it can directly harm the child’s wellbeing and development.

New and first-time parents and guardians can initially experience a massive amount of stress, as raising a child is a major life event that brings with it an incredibly wide range of emotions. In some instances, however, this stress can manifest as specific clinical conditions. Some of the most common conditions include:

• Postnatal depression

• Perinatal anxiety

• Birth trauma and PTSD

These conditions can affect anyone, even those with no pre-existing history of mental health challenges. Postnatal depression affects approximately one in ten women in Australia, and it can significantly impact partners as well. Watching a partner suffer often prompts an intense effort to help, which can inadvertently lead to burnout or secondary depression when solutions are hard to find. These conditions take a great toll on a person’s mental wellbeing and lead to further issues, placing a strain on family, friends and the child. It is for this reason that parents and guardians need to practise effective self-care. It not only helps to keep their own mental health in check but also maintains the wellbeing of the whole family.

Impact of parental stress on families

Adults experience stress daily. Whether that occurs in a professional capacity or in their personal lives, it can sometimes become too much to manage. For a parent or guardian, this is often amplified due to the increased responsibility. Alongside the personal pressure of shaping a human life and protecting a child, there are significant financial pressures. In Australia, raising a child to adulthood represents a major financial commitment, with standard costs covering everything from childcare and education to healthcare and everyday living expenses.

Due to a multitude of factors, the stress parents and guardians experience can sometimes become untenable. In these instances, it affects the immediate family. When parental stress reaches a tipping point and results in burnout or depression, partners, siblings and grandparents may also suffer. They often need to take up new responsibilities for caring for the child while simultaneously experiencing feelings of helplessness for the struggling parent.

Parental stress has an intense ripple effect, particularly on the young. Studies have found that parental stress during infancy can be directly linked to mental health challenges in children as young as three, significantly increasing the odds that they will experience emotional difficulties at an early age.

Recognising when you need self-care

The joys of being a guardian and raising a child can sometimes be overshadowed by the accompanying pressures. With the constant attention, concern and duties that guardians must manage, self-care easily falls by the wayside. Yet it remains an essential component to successfully juggling these demands. Just like anybody else, parents and guardians exhibit clear signs when they are running on empty.

Disassociation and feelings of apathy

The demands of raising a child can become incredibly overwhelming. A chronic lack of sleep combined with the sheer emotional and physical energy required can quickly lead to burnout. Due to the severe exhaustion parents go through during these periods, it can lead to detachment and disassociation. High levels of exhaustion can cause apathy, severely limiting parental capacities. When you begin to feel this way, taking time for self-care is necessary. If you are burnt out, you will struggle to provide your child with the necessary level of care.

Caring for a child is a fragile ecosystem that relies heavily on the health of the caregiver. Children rely on their guardians for the basics, and parental burnout can be disruptive to a child's development.

Feeling physically unwell

Chronic stress over a prolonged period is proven to lead to physical health problems. For a parent or guardian, stress is a near certainty. If the body deals with stress for too long, it can lead to mood swings and anxiety, but it also takes a physical toll, resulting in tension headaches and stomach pains. If physical symptoms begin to impair your daily duties, it is best to carve out time to give your mind and body a rest.

Emotional outbursts and mood swings

One of the key indicators that it is time to address self-care is a noticeable increase in emotional outbursts, irritability, sadness or anxiety. Raising a child stirs up a lot of emotions; when mixed with fatigue, moods can swing wildly. Parents may begin to take frustrations out on loved ones, become irritated at minor issues, or even feel fleeting negative emotions towards their children. When emotions become too much to handle, addressing your own basic needs can help restore a calm, mindful state.

Building a support network

Parenthood is a unique journey and no two experiences are identical. However, other people do understand the struggles. They can empathise with your experiences, offer advice and support you through the more challenging periods. This network might include friends, siblings, extended family members or local community playgroups. They can assist with emotional needs, offer practical tips for unexpected situations, and remind you that you are not alone.

It can be difficult to seek help as a parent or guardian, as admitting you are struggling can bring feelings of shame or inadequacy. However, navigating these difficulties is incredibly common. Being honest with those closest to you provides the opportunity to discuss worries with someone you trust.

Another option for outside support is to join local or online parenting communities. Other parents will have natural empathy for your struggles, providing insights and a helpful social outlet. Their tips and shared knowledge can prove invaluable.

Digital detox: reducing screen time

Whether it is for your own peace of mind, to set a positive example, or to prevent children from using digital devices too often, a digital detox can be incredibly valuable to a family's mental health.

The benefits of a digital detox include reduced stress and anxiety caused by "doomscrolling", a better attention span and increased face-to-face social interaction. These are all habits that guardians want to encourage in their children. When a parent can give a child focused attention, they better understand what the child needs, which in turn allows them to manage the household more efficiently and carve out time for self-care. This creates a more balanced routine for both childcare and self-care. While the modern world requires frequent phone usage, regular digital breaks benefit cognitive skills and help parents teach core values and presence to their children.

When to seek professional support

Sometimes, the demands of raising children take such a toll that self-care alone is not enough, and the situation requires professional intervention. Whether you are struggling to find the time to care for yourself, managing a mental health condition, or finding that stress is impacting your caregiving abilities, professional guidance can help.

If you feel that you have reached a point where you need assistance, it is highly recommended to contact your General Practitioner (GP). A GP can create a Mental Health Treatment Plan, which provides Medicare rebates for sessions with a psychologist or counsellor. Additionally, many workplaces offer an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that provides free, confidential counselling sessions for employees and their immediate family members. Seeking help early ensures you have the right tools to navigate tough periods and protect the wellbeing of your entire family.

Do you need any further adjustments to the tone of this piece, or perhaps specific details added about Australian support services like PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) or raising children resources?