A Guide on How to Talk to Your Child About Mental Health

Childhood and adolescence are important stages of emotional, social and psychological development. What children experience during these years can influence how they understand emotions, build relationships and respond to challenges as they grow.

Mental health challenges among children are not uncommon. In Australia, around one in seven children and adolescents aged 4 to 17 experience a mental illness. Parents and guardians therefore have an important role in creating a safe environment where children can talk about worries, difficult emotions and changes in how they feel.

Open conversations can help children understand mental health, develop emotional awareness and feel less alone when something is troubling them. This guide explains why these conversations matter, how to approach them and what to do if your child finds it difficult to open up.

Why Talking to Children About Mental Health Matters

Children and young people deserve to have a voice when it comes to their mental wellbeing. Feeling comfortable discussing mental health can help a child describe their worries, understand their emotions and ask for support when they need it.

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare reports that one in seven Australian children and adolescents aged 4 to 17 experience a mental illness. It also reports that many mental health conditions first emerge during adolescence and early adulthood, making these important periods for early identification and timely support.

Talking about mental health does not require parents to have all the answers. A calm, supportive conversation can show a child that their feelings matter and that they do not have to manage difficult experiences alone.

1. It Helps Reduce Mental Health Stigma

Children learn about mental health from the language, attitudes and reactions of the adults around them. When parents discuss mental health openly and without judgement, children learn that emotional difficulties are not something to hide or feel ashamed of.

Use clear, age-appropriate language and avoid describing mental health challenges as personal weaknesses. Explain that people can experience difficult thoughts and emotions just as they can experience physical health problems.

Normalising these conversations can make it easier for children to ask questions, describe their feelings and seek support.

2. It Can Build Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience is not about ignoring distress or expecting children to manage everything by themselves. It involves recognising emotions, understanding what may be causing them and knowing when to ask for help.

Conversations about mental health can help children learn that difficult feelings are manageable and that support is available. Over time, this understanding may help them respond more confidently to setbacks, change, disappointment and uncertainty.

3. It Can Strengthen Your Connection

Open and honest conversations can strengthen the relationship between a child and their parent or guardian. Listening with interest shows your child that their experiences matter to you.

When children feel safe talking about emotions, they may also become more comfortable approaching you about school, friendships, family changes or other challenges. The aim is not to force disclosure. It is to build trust so your child knows they can come to you when they are ready.

4. It Can Support Confidence and Self-Awareness

Giving children space to discuss their mental health can help them feel seen, heard and understood.

When children learn to name and explore their emotions, they can begin to recognise what they need and what might help. This understanding can improve emotional awareness and support confidence in communicating their needs.

How to Talk to Initiate the Conversation

Starting a conversation about mental health can feel daunting. You may worry about saying the wrong thing or making your child uncomfortable. A thoughtful approach can make the conversation feel safer and more natural.

1. Choose the Right Moment

Notice when your child is usually most comfortable talking. This might be during playtime, while travelling in the car, on a walk or when doing an activity together.

If your child is visibly distressed, they may need time and space before they can talk. You can let them know you are available without pressuring them to respond immediately.

Consider your own emotional state as well. If you are upset, distracted or overwhelmed, pause until you can listen calmly and respond thoughtfully.

2. Begin With Reassurance

Start by reminding your child that you love them, care about them and want to understand what they are experiencing.

You might say:

• “You can talk to me about anything that is worrying you.”
• “I’ve noticed you seem quieter than usual. How have you been feeling?”
• “You don’t have to explain everything straight away. I’m here when you’re ready.”
• “It’s okay to have difficult or mixed-up feelings.”

Avoid beginning the conversation in the middle of an argument or when emotions are already running high. A neutral, familiar setting may help your child feel less pressured.

3. Listen Openly and Actively

Feeling heard is important for children and adults alike. Give your child time to speak without interrupting, correcting or immediately offering solutions.

Show that you are listening through your words, expression and body language. You can reflect back what you have heard by saying, “It sounds like that was really difficult,” or, “I can understand why you might feel worried.”

Try to listen more than you speak. Your child may need time to organise their thoughts, especially if they are discussing something difficult for the first time.

4. Reassure Them Without Dismissing Their Feelings

Reassure your child that experiencing mental health challenges does not make them weak, difficult or responsible for what is happening.

Avoid responses such as “you’ll be fine”, “don’t worry” or “other people have it worse”. Although these phrases may be intended to comfort them, they can make a child feel that their emotions are being dismissed.

Instead, acknowledge what they are feeling and remind them that they do not have to manage it alone.

5. Be Aware of Your Reactions

Your initial response can affect whether your child feels safe speaking with you again.

A shocked expression, sigh, raised voice or dismissive gesture may discourage further conversation. Even if what you hear is upsetting, try to remain calm and focus on your child’s immediate needs.

You can take time later to process your own emotions or seek support from another trusted adult or qualified professional.

6. Remind Them That Support Is Available

Difficult conversations can feel intense. Remind your child that you are on their side and willing to listen without judgement.

You do not need to resolve everything in one conversation. Let your child know that you can return to the topic later and explore possible support together.

What to Do if Your Child Finds It Hard to Talk

Children may struggle to explain how they feel because they do not yet have the vocabulary, feel embarrassed or are unsure what is happening. A lack of response does not necessarily mean nothing is wrong.

Join Their Play

Young children may communicate thoughts and emotions through play. Joining an activity can create a relaxed opportunity for conversation.

You might use a toy, drawing or imaginary character to explore emotions gently. For example, you could ask how a favourite character might feel in a particular situation.

Avoid using play to interrogate your child. Follow their lead and keep the interaction natural.

Use Their Preferred Communication Style

Older children and teenagers may prefer texting, messaging or another less direct way of communicating.

A short message, emoji or check-in can give them an opportunity to respond without the pressure of a face-to-face conversation. Be careful not to rely entirely on digital communication, but recognise that it may be a useful starting point.

Spend Time Together Without Forcing a Conversation

Simply being present can be reassuring. Watch a film, prepare food, go for a walk or ask your child about a game or activity they enjoy.

Shared activities can build connection and create natural opportunities for your child to speak. If they do not open up immediately, continue showing interest without repeatedly asking them to explain what is wrong.

Help Them Name Their Feelings

Young children may benefit from being given a small number of options. You could ask whether they feel sad, angry, worried, confused or whether they need help.

Avoid offering too many choices at once. You can reassure them that it is normal to experience “big feelings” or several emotions at the same time.

Creative activities, facial-expression charts and simple scales can also help children communicate when words feel difficult.

What to Do When Your Child Opens Up

Hearing that your child is struggling can be distressing. You may experience fear, sadness, guilt or anger. However, your child needs a calm and non-judgemental space in that moment.

Thank them for telling you and acknowledge that speaking up may have been difficult. Ask what they need rather than assuming they want advice. They may want you to listen, help solve a problem or find additional support.

You could ask:

“Would you like me to listen, or would you like us to think about what might help?” “Is there anything happening at school, at home or with friends that you want me to understand?” “Would you feel comfortable talking to someone else about this?” “What would help you feel safer or more supported today?”

Do not promise to keep information secret if there is a risk to your child’s safety. Explain that you may need to involve an appropriate professional or trusted adult to help keep them safe.

If you are concerned about your child’s mental health, behaviour or safety, seek advice from a qualified health professional. A general practitioner can help assess the situation and discuss suitable support options.

How an Employee Assistance Program Can Support Working Parents

Supporting a child through a difficult period can affect a parent or guardian’s own mental health. Working parents may be balancing their child’s needs with employment, financial responsibilities and other family commitments.

An Employee Assistance Program can provide confidential support for employees experiencing personal or work-related challenges. Depending on the service available through the workplace, this may include short-term counselling and guidance relating to stress, anxiety, relationships or family concerns. Learn how an Employee Assistance Program works in Australia.

Parents and guardians should also make time for their own wellbeing. Self-care for parents and guardians can help adults maintain the emotional capacity to support their families.

An EAP does not replace medical, psychological or emergency support for a child. However, it may give eligible parents and guardians a confidential place to discuss their own emotions and consider practical next steps.

Supporting Your Child Through Ongoing Conversations

Talking about mental health should not be limited to a single serious conversation. Regular, low-pressure check-ins can make the subject feel more familiar and help children build emotional awareness over time.

You will not always have the perfect response. What matters is creating an environment where your child feels listened to, respected and supported.

Remain curious about their experiences, take their concerns seriously and seek qualified help when needed. By showing that mental health can be discussed openly, you can help your child develop the confidence to express difficult emotions and ask for support.

Frequently asked questions

• How do I start a conversation with my child about mental health?

Choose a calm moment when neither of you feels rushed or overwhelmed. Begin with a gentle observation or open question, such as, “I’ve noticed you seem worried lately. How are you feeling?” Reassure your child that they are not in trouble and do not need to explain everything immediately. Listen without interrupting and allow the conversation to develop at their pace.

• What should I do if my child does not want to talk?

Avoid forcing the conversation or repeatedly asking what is wrong. Let your child know you are available whenever they feel ready. Continue creating opportunities for connection through shared activities, play, walks or messages. Some children communicate more easily when they are not sitting face-to-face. If concerning changes continue, consider seeking advice from a qualified health professional.

• How can I respond when my child says they are struggling?

Stay calm, thank them for telling you and acknowledge their feelings. Ask whether they want you to listen or help them explore possible next steps. Avoid dismissing the concern or rushing to solve it. If the issue affects their daily life, relationships, schooling or safety, seek guidance from a general practitioner or another qualified health professional.

• How can I help my child understand difficult emotions?

Use clear, age-appropriate words to describe emotions and reassure your child that all feelings are valid. Younger children may benefit from drawings, stories, play or a short list of feeling words. Older children may prefer writing or messaging. Help them notice how emotions feel in their body and discuss safe ways to express or manage those feelings.

• When should I seek professional mental health support for my child?

Consider professional support when changes in mood, behaviour, sleep, eating, school participation or relationships are persistent, severe or disrupting everyday life. Seek urgent help when there is an immediate safety concern. A general practitioner can assess your child and explain appropriate options. An EAP may support an eligible parent but should not replace clinical care for the child.

Related entities

• Psychological Safety:

Psychological safety describes an environment where people feel able to raise concerns or ask for help without fear of humiliation. In a family context, children also benefit from knowing their feelings will be heard respectfully.

• Parental Wellbeing:

Parental wellbeing affects a parent or guardian’s ability to respond patiently and consistently to a child. Confidential counselling and self-care can help adults manage their own stress while supporting their family.

• Child Safety:

Child safety involves protecting children from harm and responding appropriately when a concern arises. Immediate safety risks require prompt assistance from emergency services or an appropriate qualified professional.

• Child Mental Health:

Child mental health includes emotional, psychological and social wellbeing throughout childhood. It can influence how children understand feelings, build relationships, learn and respond to challenges.

• Working Parents:

Working parents balance employment responsibilities with the practical and emotional needs of their children. Access to flexible workplace support and confidential wellbeing services can help them manage difficult family circumstances.

• Employee Assistance Program:

An Employee Assistance Program provides eligible employees with confidential support for personal or work-related concerns. It may help working parents manage stress and emotions while supporting a child experiencing mental health challenges.